Story of the Year

Please excuse me while I blow chunks.

It’s only been one day and I’m already throwing up my lunch over this Michael Jackson media vomit.  The guy is now dead: it seems that is the story of the year but that’s just the beginning of his afterlife media regurgitation for the decade to come.  Let’s take an advance look at what will be filling the spew recycling bowls of the newscasts and the internet.

1.  We will need to see the battle saga over MJ’s children.

2.  Dr. Feelgood Pill-Pusher will have some gory glory.

3.  The question of whether Michael Jackson was worth millions or in multimillion $ debt will be bandied about until we’re sick of it.

4.  The question of whether Jackson is really dead, or working as a Walmart clerk with Elvis in Arkansas, will continue forever.

5.  Doubtlessly a raft of unauthorized biographies are headed for the publishers already.  These will take up rows of bookstore shelves.  The pages will best be used for wiping the corner of the mouth after puking.

6.  Mimes of the world will start wearing Michael Jackson black wigs and wearing one glove – they won’t have to change the color of their facial grease-paint.
Click to Get Some Fake Vomit to Glue on your TV Screen

7.  Every celebrity interviewed in the next several months will have to shed a mock tear and offer some trite platitude to the fallen king of pop.

8. I don’t even want to think about the media vomit that will occur on June 24, 2010.

9.  First though, there will be the stomach-turning state funeral.  Or helicopter coverage of a private internment with a red carpet for those attending celebrities.

10. Perhaps there will even be a best-dressed list made of the starlets in black.

11.  I’m sick of imagining the spittle and puke dripping out of the pundit’s mouths over the near future.

Please feel free to add to this list of barf-inducing expectations.  Russell Twyce

RIP MJ – In this celebrity-stupid world R.I.P. means Recycled Into Puke.

Tags: barf bag, celebrity, media hype, Michael Jackson, puking, pundits, rip mj, spew, Story of the Year

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 6:03 pm and is filed under celebrity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.